THE HLL RESOURCE LIBRARY
Tools for the losses that go unseen.
Practical resources for living loss, ambiguous loss and disenfranchised grief. Begin with changes in relationships, health, identity and the future someone imagined. Bereavement resources are still here, in their own collection.
FIND WHAT YOU NEED
Browse the library.
Search by title, author or keyword. Choose Living loss books to explore reading by topic, or Living & overlooked loss for practical resources. Select Search to see six results at a time.
Your results will appear here. Choose a collection and select Search to browse, or enter a title, author or topic to find something specific.
A MOMENT OF REFLECTION
Questions that make room.
There is no right answer and no timeline. Use these questions for personal reflection or to open a respectful conversation, not as an assessment or treatment tool.
THREE WAYS TO OPEN THE CONVERSATION
01 · NOTICE
What changed?
What is different now, and what do you find yourself missing about how things were?
02 · NAME
What feels unseen?
Is there part of this experience that has been hard to explain or that others have overlooked?
03 · CONSIDER
What would help?
What support would feel welcome right now, and what might feel intrusive?
A CONVERSATION IN PRACTICE
An example of listening to a loss that others may not recognize.
CLIENT
We don’t talk anymore. People keep saying I should move on because they’re still alive.
COACH
What feels most different for you since the relationship changed?
CLIENT
I miss what we had. I don’t think anyone understands why that matters so much.
COACH
Would it help to explore what you’re missing, or would you rather I simply listen today?
CLIENT
I think I just need someone to listen.
The difference
The coach makes room for the client’s experience rather than minimizing it, prescribing a solution, or assuming what help is needed.
FOR COACHES & HELPING PROFESSIONALS
Recognition matters. So do boundaries.
Supporting someone well means staying curious without promising to fix their grief. These reminders are a starting point, not a substitute for training, appropriate referral, or professional supervision.
01 · LISTEN
Without ranking
Avoid comparing losses or deciding whose grief is serious enough.
02 · ASK
Before advising
Make room for the person’s own meaning, needs, culture, and preferences.
03 · REFER
Within your scope
Recognize when needs exceed coaching and require licensed or specialized support.
